


Fic is Life

by therumjournals



Category: Star Trek RPS
Genre: Crack, M/M, Pinto, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-20
Updated: 2011-03-20
Packaged: 2017-10-17 15:58:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumjournals/pseuds/therumjournals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris and Zach discover fanfiction.  Zach wears a headband.  The sex tape is leaked.  Chris gets tentacles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fic is Life

“CHRIS, I CAN’T DO IT!” Zach had to shout to be heard over the roar of the wind.

“YES YOU CAN!” Chris checked the straps of his parachute one last time and the instructor nodded that he was good to go. “COME ON! WE’LL GO TOGETHER!” He put out his hand and Zach took a step closer, still clinging to the strap inside the plane. Chris leaned forward to grab his hand. “You’ll be fine, Zach,” he said, mustering all the confidence he could and hoping Zach didn’t notice that his hands were shaking, too.

Their eyes met, and Chris squeezed Zach’s hand a little tighter. Then Zach took a step forward, closing the distance between them, and pressed a hard kiss against Chris’s mouth. Chris felt his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but before he could do anything more, Zach had pulled away.

“In case we die,” he said, then he let go of the strap, and together they plunged into the cloudless sky.

*

They didn’t die.

Zach touched down almost gracefully, and he jogged across the field on shaky legs to where Chris was sprawled and laughing after a somewhat bumpy landing. Zach helped him up and didn’t let go of his hand until they were almost back to the hangar.

In the car, Chris waited until Zach had buckled his seatbelt before he leaned across to the passenger seat and kissed him. Zach made a surprised sound in the back of his throat, but he kissed back, and when Chris pulled away he said, “What was that for?”

Chris put a hand on the wheel and turned the key in the ignition. “In case we don’t make it back to my place.”

**

Zach wandered out of Chris’s bedroom the next morning, wearing nothing but his boxers and a headband to hold back his unruly locks. He yawned, scratched his stomach, and smiled when he caught sight of Chris sitting on the couch, staring at him.

“You okay?” Zach asked. “Because you like you just saw a ghost.”

Chris’s mouth opened and closed a few times like he was trying to say something, but nothing came out.

“You need some water or something?”

“Zach,” Chris croaked.

“Yeah?”

Chris gestured to the laptop that was open on the coffee table and Zach took a few steps closer. “What’s up, what’s going on? Is something wrong? Fuck, did they get pictures?”

Chris shook his head and took a deep breath. “That’s what I was looking for…I was worried, so I went online. I googled ‘Zachary Quinto skydiving’ and…” He stopped talking and stared at Zach again.

“And what? Jesus, Chris, what?”

Chris swallowed hard. “I found this…this _story_.”

Zach furrowed his brows and leaned over to look at the screen.

 **Title:** Falling For You  
 **Author:** [](http://pinto4realsies.livejournal.com/profile)[**pinto4realsies**](http://pinto4realsies.livejournal.com/)  
 **Fandom:** Star Trek RPF  
 **Pairing:** Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto  
 **Rating:** NC-17 like whoa  
 **Summary:** Chris and Zach go skydiving.  
 **Warnings:** rimming

“What, like…fanfiction?”

“Yeah, but it’s about _us_.”

Zach shrugged. “I guess it’s _kinda_ creepy, but-“

“No, Zach, you don’t understand. This…this story is exactly what happened yesterday. It’s like…fuck, it’s like someone was there, watching us or something.”

“Wait, what?” Zach sat down on the couch, pressed close against Chris as he grabbed for the laptop. “It’s about us going skydiving?”

“It’s about us going skydiving, and you kissing me in the plane, and then the car and…” Chris squirmed a little, his cheeks flushing. “And, the other stuff.”

“Oh my god. Was someone stalking us?”

“That’s the really freaky thing, Zach – look at the date.”

Chris pointed to the screen. Above the header was the date that the story had been posted - November 5, 2010. Six months ago. Zach’s heart pounded a little harder in his chest and he scrambled for an explanation.

“Maybe it’s just a coincidence, maybe someone just made this up and then it happened to come true…” He trailed off.

Chris shook his head. “No. Look.” He scrolled to the bottom of the story and pointed to a paragraph near the end. “Read that.”

 _Zach wandered out of Chris’s bedroom the next morning, wearing nothing but his boxers and a headband to hold back his unruly locks. He yawned and scratched his stomach, and smiled when he caught sight of Chris sitting on the couch._

Zach’s hand flew to his headband, and he looked at Chris in shock. “What. The. Fuck.”

Chris’s voice was an awestruck whisper as he answered. “It’s fanfiction…. _that predicts the future_.”

Zach shook his head slowly in disbelief. He peered at the screen.

 _Zach straddled Chris, pressing a kiss to his plush lips._

Zach grinned and turned, swinging a leg over Chris’s lap and leaning down for a kiss.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m pressing a kiss to your plush lips,” Zach murmured. “That’s what it says to do next.”

“Wish it said you’d brushed your teeth,” Chris muttered, wrinkling his nose.

Zach made an indignant noise and climbed off of him. “Fine,” he said, slumping down into the couch with his arms crossed. He nodded toward the laptop. “Are there any more stories?”

Chris clicked the back button and scrolled down. “It says ‘Friends Only’ – what do you think that means?”

“I guess it means you have to get an account or something. Come on, let’s sign up!”

“Fuck no.” Chris slammed his computer shut. He eyed it warily like it was about to come to life.

“But what if there’s more?”

“Dude, I am totally freaking out right now. If there’s more…I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know about it.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Zach bit his lip and looked from Chris to the computer and back.

“What?”

“Did it say that we went back to your room?”

Chris’s lips quirked up in a half-smile as he stood up from the couch. He reached for Zach’s hand. “I don’t really give a fuck whether it did or not.”

**

“Come over to my place tonight?” Zach asked over the phone a few days later. “I want to make you dinner.”

“Okay.”

“Sweet. Be here around 7:00?”

“Sure. Um, Zach?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you by any chance planning to make fajitas?”

“Yeah, I was…how did you know?”

“Because…I read another story,” Chris admitted.

“Chris! How?”

“I opened an account. I’m sorry, Zach, I know I said I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I just wanted to see if there was more, you know, about us…”

“Did, um…did the story say anything about…anything else that I planned to do tonight?” Zach sounded nervous.

Chris swallowed. “Yeah. It did.”

“Oh. And…are you…cool with that?”

“Yeah.” Chris’s voice had gone a little husky. “I want to, I want you to fuck me.”

“Fuck, Chris,” Zach groaned, and Chris heard the sound of something crashing to the floor. “Shit! I dropped the steak. Noah, NO! Shit, he’s licking it!”

“Zach. Zach, it’s okay, let Noah have it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. In the story, they were veggie fajitas.”

**

Chris gave Zach his account information so he could sign in, but Zach swore he didn’t want to read any more of [](http://pinto4realsies.livejournal.com/profile)[**pinto4realsies**](http://pinto4realsies.livejournal.com/) ' stories.

“What if she writes that I, like, bombed an audition or something? I don’t want to know about that!”

Chris propped himself up on an elbow and set a hand on Zach’s bare chest. “I guess. But it’s not like _everything_ she writes comes true.”

“Oh yeah? Name one thing.”

“Like, okay, in the one I read last night it said that you have this voyeurism kink…or wait, maybe it’s exhibitionism…which one is it when you make a sex tape? Anyway, it says you, like, filmed us having sex or whatever, and you obviously never did.” He felt Zach’s body go still. “Right?”

“Um…”

“Zach. Don’t fuck with me.”

“Chris, I’m sorry, I was going to ask, I just-“

“What?!” Chris shrieked, pushing himself up. “You fucking taped us having sex? Are you insane?!”

“Only last night!” Zach said, sitting up in the bed, the sheet draped around his lap. “Look, I was going to tell you, I was going to, like, surprise you with it-“

“Bullshit! You knew I’d say no, so you didn’t tell me!”

“I just thought-“

“Oh my god,” Chris said, running a hand through his hair as he paced. “Of course. That explains why you wanted to switch positions, like, nineteen times. And oh my god, _this_ is why you kept manhandling me back up to the head of the bed!”

“You kept blocking my good side!” Zach protested.

“Zach! A sex tape?! Do you not understand how _bad_ an idea that is? Jesus, what if someone got a hold of it, what if it got leaked or something?!”

“Chris, it’s not going to get leaked, please, I’m not an idiot. Have a little faith here.”

“Delete it.”

“But…”

Chris gave him an incredulous stare. “Are you kidding me? Fucking delete it, Zach. Now!”

“Okay, fine, fine.” Zach held his hands up in defeat. “Just…can we please watch it first?”

Chris frowned.

“Please,” Zach pleaded. “Come on. Then I’ll delete it, I swear.” He dropped his voice to a seductive purr. “I just want to see how hot you look when you’re fucking me. Want to see what it looks like when you’ve got me on all fours and you’re fucking me with that big dick-“

“FINE!” Chris burst, throwing his hands up. His face was flushed and his cock was beginning to stir in his boxers, and he threw himself onto the bed in a huff. “Fine, we’ll watch your fucking sex tape that you took _without my permission_ , and I hope you have a good memory, because we are deleting that shit immediately afterwards.”

“Even if it’s totally hot?”

“IMMEDIATELY, Zach.”

Zach climbed out of bed and padded across the room. He stopped in front of the bookshelf and Chris knew right away – the digital camera on the third shelf, just like the story had said. “Fucking hell,” he muttered. Zach pulled out the camera card, hooked it up to his laptop, and brought both over to the bed.

They sat with their sides pressed together, heads leaning in close so they both had a good view of the screen as Zach hit Play. The first shot was a close up of Zach’s face as he turned on the camera. His hair was pulled back, and he was biting his lip to contain his grin. He glanced toward the bedroom door, then looked back a the lens. “This is Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine’s sex tape,” he whispered gleefully into the camera.

On the bed, Chris turned to look at Zach in horror. “Are you _fucking insane_?”

Zach had the decency to look slightly embarrassed. “Okay, maybe that part wasn’t the smartest idea in the world,” he murmured. “I was a little excited.” He fast-forwarded the video to about ten minutes in, to when he’d finally gotten Chris to stop rambling on about his day or whatever and had dragged him into the bedroom by his waistband. Chris wore a look of pleasant surprise at Zach’s eagerness, and he laughed as they tumbled onto the bed, alternating between kissing and tearing each others’ clothes off.

“Yeah, Chris,” Zach groaned. He shoved Chris’s arm out of the way and looked across the room into the camera. Chris was too busy untangling himself from his boxers to notice. “I want you to fuck me,” Zach said, pursing his lips together and tossing his hair back from his forehead.

“Oh my god,” Chris said, rolling his eyes as he watched the video. “Seriously, I should have known. You were using your fucking ‘actor voice’ all night.”

“Shut up, I was not,” Zach muttered.

On screen, Zach cupped Chris’s cheek and stared into his eyes. “I want you, Chris,” he breathed. “I want you so badly.”

Chris looked away from the laptop to give Zach a withering glare. “Okay, fine,” Zach conceded, “ _maybe_ I overdid it a little. Now will you just shut up and watch, in a minute you’re gonna… _fuck yeah_ ,” he murmured as he watched Chris press a lubed finger into his ass. Even Chris had to go silent at that, his eyes drawn to the screen, to the look on Zach’s face when he added a second finger, the way Zach’s hand twisted in the sheets as he tried desperately not to touch himself.

“God, Chris, look at you,” Zach said a few minutes later, pressing a fist to his mouth as he watched Chris rub the head of his cock against his hole. Chris was looking, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the screen, and his hand dropped involuntarily to his crotch to squeeze at his stiffening cock. “Hot, right?” Zach whispered. Chris nodded and his breath came a little faster as he watched himself thrust into Zach. The camera picked up the sound of Chris’s balls slapping against Zach’s ass as he pulled back and slammed in again. He reached for Zach’s cock, and the room echoed with moans, both on-screen and off.

Chris knew there was more – Zach had flipped them over and ridden him hard, then pulled off and let Chris lick sloppily at his dick. Chris had tongue-fucked his ass for a little, until neither of them could take it any more, then he’d pulled Zach onto his lap and fucked him from behind while Zach stroked himself. And fuck, that had been a brilliant directorial move on Zach’s part, and he kinda wanted to watch until he saw Zach come, but he couldn’t wait, and neither could Zach, apparently, because he was pushing the laptop away and pressing Chris into the mattress, grinding their erections together and capturing his mouth in an urgent kiss. A low undercurrent of dirty talk spilled from the speakers as Chris thrust desperately into Zach’s hand.

Neither of them noticed when the laptop slipped off the mattress and hit the floor.

**

Zach checked his watch for the seventh time and stared out the window at the congested freeway. He was pretty sure they’d only moved about half a mile in the last ten minutes. He’d been out in Santa Monica for some charity thing, which Chris had gotten out of by claiming he had a bad stomachache, so now instead of being in his boyfriend’s sweet BMW, he was in the back of a town car, stuck in traffic. He glanced at his messenger bag, then shook his head. No. He’d said he wouldn’t. A horn honked outside and the car moved a few feet, then stopped again. Zach heaved a sigh and gave in, reaching into his bag and pulling out his new iPad.

It took him a few minutes to find the site – he’d refused to bookmark it – but then it was right there, and he felt a shiver of anticipation as he logged in. He scrolled down to the next story he hadn’t read. Thought once more about shutting down and putting the iPad away, but before he could, he found himself reading the header.

 **Title:** The Snake Charmer  
 **Author:** [](http://pinto4realsies.livejournal.com/profile)[**pinto4realsies**](http://pinto4realsies.livejournal.com/)  
 **Fandom:** Star Trek RPF  
 **Pairing:** Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Summary:** Chris meets a mysterious man in the supermarket. Little does he realize, his life is about to change forever.  
 **Warning:** tentacles

Zach frowned. Tentacles? What the hell? He looked out the window for a minute, trying to figure out what that could mean. He _had_ always wanted a pet octopus. No, it said supermarket, so…maybe Chris was going to try making calamari? That seemed unlikely. Well, he thought with a shrug, there was nothing for it but to read on and find out.

 _Chris awoke with a start in the darkness, his heart racing. A dream, some sort of nightmare, but what had it been? An old man – no,_ the _old man, the one from the supermarket, pointing at Chris with a crooked finger. His head pounded as the old man’s words came back to him. “You want him too much,” he’d said, and Chris wondered if he’d ever be able to get that slimy voice out of his mind. “You’re afraid he’s going to slip away, to slide out of your grasp.”_

 _“Um,” Chris had said, casting a nervous glance down the aisle. “I think you might have the wrong person. I’m just trying to buy some pasta?”_

 _“You are he. And this gift is for you!”_

 _Then he had vanished in a puff of smoke or…no, that couldn’t be right. That must have been the dream, then. Chris sat up cautiously and took a deep breath. At least his stomach didn’t hurt any more. He knew Zach hadn’t believed him when he'd called to cancel their plans, but it really had hurt and he’d spent the evening writhing on the couch in pain._

Zach looked up from his iPad in shock. His heart was pounding. This story was about _tonight_. Was Chris sitting up in bed right now, his mind reeling from a terrible nightmare? Zach willed the town car to move faster. He considered giving Chris a call, but instead, he kept reading.

 _Chris ran a hand through his hair, startled to find that it was damp with sweat. He was sleeping naked, like he always did, but the room suddenly felt humid, stifling. He kicked the sheet off of his legs – and screamed._

 _“AAAAGHH FUCK FUCK GET IT OFF!” he yelled, thrashing around the mattress as he fought to get away from the wriggling…thing that was in his bed. But it hung on, flailing along with the rest of his limbs. Chris was shrieking now, crashing against the headboard, and oh FUCK there was another one. Chris grabbed at it with both of his hands and yanked. An agonizing pain shot through him and he tried to scream, but he couldn’t breathe and he was falling, tumbling off the edge of the bed. He fainted before he even hit the floor._

Zach threw the iPad onto the seat beside him and grabbed for his phone, his hands shaking. He leaned forward, gave the driver Chris’s address, and begged him to hurry. The phone rang four times, then all he could hear was ragged breathing from Chris’s end.

“Chris? Chris, are you okay? I just read this story and…fucking talk to me, Chris, are you alright?”

Another shaky breath and then what sounded like a sob. “Zach….” Chris’s voice broke and a wave of fear washed over him. “Please come over. Hurry.”

**

“Hey, babe,” Zach said when Chris picked up the phone. “You busy?”

“Nah.”

“What are you doing?”

He could hear Chris’s smirk through the phone. “Guess.”

“Okaaaay. I guess that you are sitting on the couch, playing with your tentacles. Probably naked.”

“Correct on all counts. Come over?”

“Later. I promised myself I’d do laundry today.”

“Are you sure? Because I just discovered this really awesome thing I can do if I use both of them at the same time.”

Suddenly, laundry didn’t seem so important. “I’ll be right there.”

**

“Fucking hell, Chris, that was amazing.” Zach rolled over onto his back with a groan. He felt thoroughly fucked out, his body humming with the, what, three orgasms he’d had in the last hour? He couldn’t even bring himself to roll his eyes at the smug grin on Chris’s face.

Instead he twisted around and reached for his jeans, feeling in the pocket for his pack of cigarettes and lighter. He lay back, humming contentedly as Chris wrapped an arm around his waist. A tentacle slunk up his chest and plucked the cigarette from between his lips.

“Hey, what the hell?” Zach asked, lifting his head with a glare.

Chris shook his head. “Come on, Zach, I know you’re trying to quit.”

“Yeah, but-“

Chris pressed the other tentacle to Zach’s lips, silencing him, and leaned down to kiss him sweetly. “Okay,” Zach mumbled. “That’s nice, too.” They kissed for a few more minutes, then Zach gently pushed Chris away.

“Chris,” he said softly.

“Yeah?”

“You know…I’m not going anywhere. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Chris said, his expression confused. “I know.”

“Just, the old guy in the supermarket…what he said…I just want you to know, you don’t have to try to hold on to me. I’m yours.”

Chris swallowed and looked down shyly. “Even with the tentacles?”

Zach laughed and rolled over, pushing Chris onto his back. “ _Especially_ with the tentacles.”

**

“There’s a new story up,” Chris said the next morning, when Zach finally made his way out of bed and came to find him at the kitchen table. “It was written a few weeks ago, but the author said she just got a chance to post it.”

“Oh yeah?” Zach poured himself a cup of coffee and walked over to press a kiss to the top of Chris’s head. “Can I read it when you’re finished? I had to drop my laptop off at the Apple store yesterday, I think the battery’s fucked up or something.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Zach sat down across from him and opened the _New York Times_ to the Arts section, as a comfortable silence settled over them.

“Wait,” Chris said, glancing up a few minutes later. “Did you say you took your laptop to the Apple store?”

“Yeah. It’s been acting a little funky ever since we knocked it off the bed that one time.” He smiled at the memory.

“So…you took the camera card out before you brought it in, right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Okay,” Chris said, but he sounded a little nervous as his eyes flicked back to the screen.

Zach took a sip of coffee and wondered why his stomach suddenly felt funny, like he’d forgotten something important.

“You didn’t, like, copy that sex video onto the desktop or anything, did you?” Chris asked a minute later.

“Um.” Zach’s face crinkled up like he was trying to remember.

“Um? Zach? What the fuck do you mean, _um_?” Chris sat up a little straighter in his chair.

“I mean, um…”

“No, you don’t mean ‘um’, you mean, ‘Obviously I would never do something that fucking idiotic, Chris’, that’s what you mean, _right, Zach_?”

“Ummm…”

“Fuck!” Chris pushed his laptop away and put his face in his hands. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” He looked at Zach. “Why, just once, could these stories not come true? Why?”

“What happens in the story?” Zach asked quietly, positive that he didn’t want to know.

“What happens? What the fuck do you _think_ happens, our motherfucking _sex tape_ gets leaked, that’s what happens! God _dammit_ , Zach.” He smacked his hands on the table and stood up angrily, knocking his chair to the floor.

“Chris, I’m sorry!”

“Get out.”

“But-“

“I can't deal with this right now, so please, just get out. And for fuck’s sake, try not to let anyone see you leaving.”

“Is that what happens next?” Zach asked, standing. “You kick me out? Is that what happens in the story?”

“I don’t know, I stopped reading. But if it’s not, it sure as hell should be.” Chris looked at Zach, his expression more exhaustion than anger. “Just go, okay? Make some calls, let’s see if we can do some damage control before this thing gets out of hand.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Chris poured himself another cup of coffee while Zach went back to the bedroom to get dressed. He was not about to face this shitshow uncaffeinated.

Zach paused just before he reached the front door. “Chris, I’m sorry.”

“Goodbye, Zach.”

**

For a moment, Zach wondered if maybe Chris wouldn’t even pick up the phone, but he did, on the third ring.

“Hey.”

“Hi. I got my computer back.”

“It’s too late, Zach-“

“I know. I’m sorry, Chris. I don’t even know how many times I can say it.” Chris didn’t respond. “Look, it only got, like, 150,000 views before it got pulled off Youtube,” he added, trying to sound optimistic. He didn’t mention the part of the story where the video had been copied and uploaded for an entire community of obsessed, horny fangirls.

“What’s ‘tumblr’?” Chris asked.

“Um. It’s just a thing. A website.”

“In the story, it says they put screencaps on there.”

“Yeah. Look, I wouldn’t worry about it too much, okay? We can always say it was photoshopped, or…whatever.”

“So…you read the rest of the story?”

“Yeah. I guess you did, too?”

"Yeah." Chris chewed on his lip. “Do you think JJ will really-“

“I don’t know,” Zach said, chuckling. “I mean, it would be crazy, right? But…JJ is crazy, so who knows.”

“Yeah. So, um…did you read to the end?”

“Yeah. I did.” Zach’s voice was quiet, serious.

“Is it true? Were you really thinking that today?”

“Uh…about the porn?”

“No, dumbass, not about the porn. The other part. About me.”

Zach smiled. “Yeah, I was thinking that today. I’ve been thinking it for a while.”

“Oh. Because…me, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad.”

“So…you wanna come over?”

“You sure you want me to?”

“I’m sure. Come in the back though…the front’s kind of mobbed.”

“I figured.”

“And Zach?’

“Yeah?’

“No more sex tapes. Ever.”

“Yeah, no, I got that. Promise.”

“Okay. Good.”

“Although…it could have been worse you know…”

“Yeah,” Chris laughed. “I know. We could have made the sex tape _after_ I got the tentacles.”

**

 _Zach collapsed on the bed, exhausted after 8 hours of frantic calls, of statements and denials and a really strange conversation with JJ, and if one more person called him a ‘fucking idiot’ today he planned to hunt them down and punch them in the face. He thought about Chris and buried his face in the nearest pillow. Fuck. What if he’d ruined things between them, what if Chris was so pissed that he ended it?_

 _“You_ are _a fucking idiot,” he groaned into the pillow, then he frowned, wondering if he now had to punch_ himself _in the face. He kind of felt like he should, anyway. When he’d made that tape a few short weeks ago, it had been fun and hot and mostly about the sex, or so he’d thought. But now he knew that he was in love with Chris, loved him so much that he didn’t even feel weird admitting it to himself, or tearing up a little into his pillow at the thought of losing him._

 _He hadn’t ever really told Chris that, he realized. He should probably tell him, though, because maybe there was a chance he hadn’t totally fucked things up. Maybe their careers would weather this storm, maybe everyone would forget…_

 _And if not, well…they obviously had a future in porn._


End file.
